I don't recall my mom ever having to harp on us to clean up after ourselves, or to pitch in and help around the house, or tell us to do our homework.

With four kids in the house, if you left something out it was pretty much fair game for someone to claim. So we just learned early on to put things away when we were done using them. If we didn't, it wouldn't be long before our mom would tell us to stop what we were doing and get up to take care of it.

We knew when we came home from school to put our backpacks, jackets and shoes in our rooms.  When we were finished brushing our teeth, we knew to rinse out the sink. Doing it right then and there avoided later interruptions.  

When I come home from work it's a very different scene. I honestly don't know what to expect when I open the front door. Sometimes I am convinced Hurricane Alexis or Tornado Matthew must have torn through my house.  

I am often welcomed with a myriad of dirty socks, backpacks, papers and books that start at the front door and make a strategic trail into the kitchen and family room.

Other times, I have been in a meeting at work and received a distress call that my daughter left her homework in her room and I needed to go home and bring it to her. Or my son would forget to bring the workbook home that was needed to complete his homework assignment. One time, okay. Three times in a month, not okay.

The third time my son forgot to bring home his materials, I told him that he needed to explain to the teacher why his work was not done and he had to accept the zero or lower grade if she allowed him to turn his assignment in late.
 
My point here is that children need to learn to be accountable, more so today than ever before. It's tough out there and let's face it, the real world is not a kind place.

Accountability is not an instinct, it is a learned behavior that starts with parents. 
It is not just about putting things away, or doing homework. It's about taking responsibility for actions, words and even failure to act. Children and teens need to learn to balance choices and consequences.

If we don't teach these core values, we are setting them up to fail in life. It needs to start at an early stage realizing that actions result in consequences, both good and bad. Kids need to learn that something should not be expected for nothing and that work and perseverance pay off.

So how can parents help teach accountability?  
 
1.) Set an example. Show your kids how you are accountable and responsible. I explain to my kids that it is my responsibility to go to work and earn a living so our family can have the things we need. The cell phones, clothes, video games, and food we eat aren't free and I have to work hard so that we can have the extras that we want. In order to keep my job I have to show up to work every day and fulfill my obligations to the best of my ability or I won't get paid, none-the-less keep a job.  
 
It is their responsibility to go to school and make good grades, so that they can get a good job one day and take care of their family. It is important to teach kids early on that one day they will have to be financially and physically responsible for themselves.
 
2.) Look for teachable moments. For instance, if you realize that your kindergartener has swiped a pack of gum while you were checking out at the register, have your youngster go back into the store, return the gum to an employee and make them apologize for taking it.
 
3.) Establish regular chores so that they can earn privileges. This is a great way to teach kids that hard work does reap rewards. When they finish their chores they can spend time with friends or watch television. Until then they will not be able to. Parents need to set clear consequences.

Chores also teach kids how to control the environment in which they live. If they choose to keep a messy room, then it's possible friends will not want to stay over because it's dirty or smells, or they may not be able to find something that they want to use. 
 
4.) Coach without criticizing. If your child gets into an altercation with a classmate, whether it his fault or not, teach your child to be accountable for his role. Ask kids what they could have done differently to have a more positive outcome. Teaching control versus acting on impulse is critical as they transition into adulthood.
 
5.) Persevere. The most important aspects of teaching accountability are to never to give up on your kids and always follow through. Kids will test the waters, which is why consequences must occur or no lessons will be learned.