'What Do I Have to Be Thankful For?' Tips for Facing Loss at the Holidays

Thanksgiving is approaching, the holiday that encourages us to stop for a moment in life to give thanks. 

This holiday reminds and encourages us to gather as a loving family, to celebrate the joy of love and thankfulness.

However, for many experiencing a life of being alone and the pain of a relationship loss, this holiday is filled with grief, sadness and fear of the future. 

This holiday may be one you want to avoid.

You're thinking “What do I have to be thankful for?”

Giving thanks and showing gratitude might seem like crazy concepts.

What you are feeling is very real and natural as you are grieving. You may be grieving the loss of one you loved, the relationship you had and most of all the family that you were or thought you would be.  

Often during these times our sadness and fear turns into anger.  We begin to feel the anger toward the media and retail industry for constantly promoting such a loving, wondrous holiday season.  

As those around us are joyous of the holiday we become depressed when we hear laughter and see the festive spirit in holiday colors and symbols of the holidays. Many times we become angry at ourselves for not being able to “snap out of it” and get into the holiday spirit.

As we begin the process of redefining our lives during this time of transition and  relationship loss, we need to understand we do have much to be thankful for. 

Sure this year and years to come will not have the same feel as the years of the past.  We have become a different person because of the changes within our lives.  Our lives have been and will forever be rearranged. 

As we begin to travel through the transition to a new life, we start to understand our priorities, the preciousness time and the power to love.  The love of others and yes, of ourselves! 

As we begin to understand the sadness and fear, we begin to manage our anger.  We start to fit in socially and maintain a level of self-love and acceptance on a one-day-at-a-time schedule. We begin to understand our Movement of Choice.

We become wiser than we ever were before, even if you don’t feel so quite yet. Make this the first thing you give thanks for this year? Try saying this….I am thankful that I am becoming a wiser person!  Say this out loud. 

Not there yet?  It’s all right to feel what you are feeling…try saying.., "Even though I am really sad this year, I am grateful to be growing into a wiser person."

The healing power of giving thanks and expressing gratitude is very strong. Many lives have been changed by expressing and giving gratitude to others and to ourselves. 

What better time to begin your Movement of Choice and begin a gratitude journal…a “Thanksgiving Journal”! Start today, this American holiday of Thanksgiving. I encourage you to begin to write a list of things you can truly be thankful for.

Take action…start by being thankful for the small things in life.  For instance, the beautiful sun in the morning, the smell of coffee brewing, fresh baked cookies and the sound of a child’s laughter, there are many I am sure you can think of and are thankful for.

Look within…give thanks for your health.  That you simply wake up in the morning. Give thanks to what you bring to others and the wonderful person you are.

Take a moment to look at your past and give thanks for those who have touched your life.  As it is those who have touched you on your journey in life who have made you who you are today and yes add those you have touched.

Look to your future as fearful as it may feel at times…you have much to be grateful for.  Think about the positive changes in your life, allow yourself to begin to dream.  To dream of the future to come!  Humbly offer these thanksgiving possibilities to you.

As you are making your “Thanksgiving Journal,” it is OK if tears are staining your pages.  As without true feeling we are nothing.  What you feel deep down is who you are and for this we are very thankful.

May this Thanksgiving holiday be the one which will give you peace in your journey of life!

Cece Shatz,

My Friends Connect, Inc.

Certified Divorce Coach and Public Speaker

Radio Host of Going Solo – Life After Divorce, http://rhinoonair.com

Dads Going Solo – www.dadsgoingsolo.com

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