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Health & Fitness

Captured Drug Lord Owns 43 Cars

Captured Drug Lord Owns 43 Cars:  After Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán was apprehended in Mazatlan, details of the Sinaloa cartel drug lord’s property and possessions show that he owns a whopping 43 vehicles.  If this information is in fact correct, I think its pretty obvious that Jay Leno must be a drug lord.

Babe Ruth’s Pocket Watch Sells for for $717,000:  Babe Ruth’s pentagonal 14-karat gold pocket watch from the 1923 World Series has sold at an auction in New York for $717,000.  All I know is, anyone who pays $717,000 for a pocket watch has some really deep pockets to put that watch in. 

Skinny Women Earn More Money:  According to a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology, women who are "very thin" earn nearly $22,000 more than their "average weight” counterparts.  Well, one thing’s for sure, they’re certainly not blowing it all on eating out. 

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Chinese Man Tries to Feed Himself to Tigers:  A Chinese man with mental issues climbed into the Chengdu Zoo enclosure of Bengal tigers in the hopes they would eat him, but the tigers showed very little interest and the man survived with only minor scratches.  The tigers probably figured that even if they did eat the guy, they’d just be hungry again in an hour anyway, so what’s the point?  That said, I have a sneaking suspicion that had Gov. Chris Christie tried this stunt, the results would have been very different.

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Girl Scout Sells Cookies at Medical Marijuana Clinic:  An enterprising 13-year-old San Francisco Girl Scout is making a killing after setting up her cookie shop in front of a local medical marijuana clinic, hoping to catch smokers with the munchies.  Wow!  Now that’s what I call thinking outside the box (of cookies).  This girl is one smart cookie.

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California State Professor Also Meth Dealer:  LA Police say Stephen Kinzey, a professor of kinesiology at California State University, San Bernardino also had a couple of side jobs - leader of the biker gang “Devils Disciples” as well as being a methamphetamine dealer.  Which pretty much explains all of the “all-nighters” his students were pulling, even when when they didn’t have any exams.

Russian Coach Tells Reporters to Eat Me Alive:  After the Russian Olympic hockey team was eliminated by losing to Finland, Coach Zinetula Bilyaledinov told reporters to "eat me alive right now.”  Makes you wonder why someone in his position would say something like that when a simple "eat me" would have been more than sufficient.  Of course the good news for Bilyaledinov is that it will mercifully be springtime very soon in Siberia. 

Hot Pockets Products Pulled From Shelves:  Hot Pockets products are being pulled from shelves after a California meat firm processed nearly nine million pounds of beef from animals that the USDA claims were "diseased" or otherwise "unsound," and "unfit for human consumption.”  Critics of the recall point out that Hot Pockets are "unfit for human consumption” by design.  Let’s face it folks, if you’re eating something lots of hot pockets, how much do you really care about your life anyway?

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