Taking Big Bird Out Back

Anyone who believes such a ludicrous idea that Big Bird is bad for America is drinking the equivalent of broccoli-flavored Kool-Aid.

I want to thank the candidates for clearing up my complete misconceptions about
our country's troubles and our political system.

Apparently, we as Americans are simply too dense to understand what is important.

Somehow I erroneously believed that our debt – and particularly the part of it we owe to China – was a product of massive runaway government spending. But it was Big Bird all along.

I also believed it to be the result of wasteful and lavish spending by large corporations, but learned this week it is tied directly to The Cookie Monster and his affection for sweets.

I am now aware that it has nothing to do with billion-dollar bonuses for CEOs or the bailouts we provide them, which amounts to government-subsidized perks for the rich and infamous.

I was under the impression the enormous salaries we pay the Congress and Senate were somehow contributing to the national debt, but it turns out that Mr. Rogers was actually the enemy. Funny, I never heard Mr. Rogers speak Chinese.

I was stupid enough to believe that the insane state of the welfare system might be influencing the ongoing Chinese financing of America. Many people are already calling for welfare recipients to be drug tested before receiving benefits. Do these people understand how much such a program, if implemented, would cost? It would cost more to drug test them, than it would to simply pay the benefits.

The next asinine thing I expect to see on the social media is this statement: A government study was released today which found that welfare recipients spend their days stoned, watching Big Bird and having sex, all at the same time.

Of course, the conservatives hate NPR and their brand of political propaganda, and I don’t disagree that they are biased. But like Republicans and Democrats they are a necessary part of our system. They are also a necessary part of our educational system.

Many children arrive in school without the basic knowledge needed to start school. How much worse would it be, without NPR, PBS, Big Bird and all their buddies?  Cutting funding for PBS, which is minuscule, would be like driving a stake into the heart of our educational system to stifle someone who disagrees with you politically.

I think that Romney will regret allowing this statement to escape his mouth for the rest of his short political career. I’m not saying I think Obama should win. I’m saying he will win.

The worst part of this and the part no one wants to admit to is that the average American does not understand taxes. Many believe them to be some sort of government savings account and treat them as such. Many wait with crossed fingers for their yearly refund hoping it will buy them the car they need or pay for a family vacation. Most people listen to the horror stories about SSI and pray for its future, but have little understanding of it.

The health care system is so complicated that many who have insurance would rather pay than try to wade through the muddy complicated waters involved in filing the paperwork.

Americans pay for insurance, but the system is so complicated and mired with false claim rejections that it can hardly be used by anyone without a degree. That will be the next prominent American rip off and lie; you’ll need a degree to file or sell insurance, which will drive the costs even higher.

Doctor’s now hire people to file insurance paperwork, if they didn’t they would never get paid. If you pay for insurance, shouldn’t the company help you file and make sure your doctor get his money so you don’t end up having to pay anyway? I remember when they called this customer service.

The fact that this Big Bird thing has become a key campaign point proves everything I’ve been saying for months. All politicians are relatively the same, and all of them will talk about everything to avoid talking about anything.

A debate that cost millions and is so crucial should never be allowed to turn into a political quagmire by Big Bird. I am truly scared for America. 

My point is this, Americans may not understand overly complicated systems, designed as smoke screens, to keep Americans in the dark, but they do understand Big Bird.

Anyone who believes such a ludicrous idea that Big Bird is bad for America is drinking the equivalent of broccoli-flavored Kool-Aid, and the worst part is that he will convince others that it tastes "yummy." 

The candidate who threatens to take Big Bird out behind the barn is the one who loses in America, sorry. The one who goes out back to stop the raised fist wins. Wait and see!!!


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Lynda October 08, 2012 at 06:34 PM
Thanks for a timely call-out for those who would make Big Bird into just another competitive business. Apparently government can build multi-million dollar stadiums for billionaires who own sports teams, the millionaire players to play in and the wealthy sports fans to visit, but investing in one national public tv channel which brings PBS to rural areas is too expensive. Let Big Bird compete in the "free market" and be supported by donations they say, but spend our tax money on stadiums. How about funding stadiums through donations?
Sahara October 08, 2012 at 11:59 PM
Ah Linda, there you go again, making sense! You know the way to the popular vote is through prejudice, hatred and scapegoating. Our politicians have mastered the side-step, buried truth and enflamed the emotions of those most vulnerable. Funding PBS is pennies compared to funding our industrial military complex.
Andrea Jones October 10, 2012 at 04:28 AM
Great article! And I'd just like to add this, and it will definitely show what an old lady I am: thank God Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Green Jeans and Mr. Moose are not around to see the state of American politics today... Seriously, though, the whole Big Bird thing is so revealing of the pettiness of politics. And Mitt Romney could use a few hundred ping pong balls falling on his head. LOL.
Paul Ray October 10, 2012 at 12:21 PM
First off, I do not think that Big Bird is Bad for America, but an organization such as NPR (which I have made donatations to yearly for decades and listen to daily) is blatantly biased politically leaning about as far to the left as one can without falling over. Not that left or right is right or wrong as I think they are the same. But I do not believe that a non-profit agnecy of any kind that accepts money from the government should be pushing any kind of political agenda. This debate is not too dis-similiar to Churches talking politics from the pulpits and having their non profit status revoked by IRS. I think we should all be personally funding it and not using our tax money to do so. And BTW, Big Bird has demanded that the President stop using him in this debate.


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