Mitt Romney: I will begin my presidency with a jobs tour. I have a plan to create 12 million jobs, which gives me an additional 12 million opportunities to do what I like. Which is firing people.
Like Barack Obama, for example. I'd like to fire him, and then he can apply for one of the 12 million jobs I'm going to create. And if he's hired, the American people will rally behind him, wish him success, but he'll fail, of course, because he's had no business experience, and then I can fire him again. And then I'll never have to say his name 28 times in an acceptance speech that's supposed to help voters get to know me.